daily gripe

Integrated-Resort Job Opportunities (taken from min's blog - good jokes should be shared)

Since the IR has been approved, the underworld is looking for recruits.

We are now seeking members to fulfill a tender for the casino. Please fill in the application form below and mail to:
Mr. Chao Ah Heng
Membership Officer
Chap Sar Tiam Pte Ltd
69 Geylang Lorong 69
Singapore 216971

APPLICATION FOR MEMBERSHIP
1. NRIC No.: _________________

2. Surname: __________________

3. First name: (please X)
[ ] Johnson
[ ] Benson
[ ] Samson
[ ] Hamson
[ ] Janson
[ ] Other: _________________ (if not ending in -son? please explain why)

4. Chinese Name: Ah __________(if not beginning with Ah? please explain why)

5. Age: [ ] Under 35 [ ] Lau Beng

6. Sex: [ ] M [ ] F [ ] at Geylang

7. Length of Last Fingernail: ________ (cm)

8. Ability to squat for:
[ ] 1 hour
[ ] 2 hours[ ]
more than 2 hours (wah, steady!)

9. Hairstyle:
[ ] Spiky
[ ] Dyed with streaks of blond
[ ] Dyed with streaks of red
[ ] Two strands dangling in front of eyes
[ ] Kana mop like that
[ ] Perm (please state which saloon in JB you went)____________________

10. Tattoo of:
[ ] Tiger
[ ] Dragon
[ ] Snake
[ ] Eagle

11. Work experience: (please X all that apply)
[ ] KTV Lounge Bouncer
[ ] Snooker Hall Attendant
[ ] Unlicensed Contractor
[ ] Freelance debt collector
[ ] Unlicensed bookie
[ ] Dispute Resolution and Settlement Professional
[ ] Unemployed

12. Spouse's Name: _________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: (the one in Batam, that one)________________________
Lover's Name: _________________________
2nd Lover's Name: (Lorong 69, that pooi-pooi one)_________________________

13. Number of children living in household: ____
Number of children living in foster care: ____
Number of children that are actually yours: ____

14. Mother's Name: _________________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

15. Father's Name: _________________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

16. Education: (Circle how many years it took you to finish primary school)8 9 10 11 12

17. Ability to swear: (please X all that apply)
[ ] Hokkien
[ ] English
[ ] Malay
[ ] Tamil
[ ] Cantonese
[ ] rude hand gestures

18. Service performed in previous secret society:
[ ] Leadership/Tua Tao
[ ] Junior management/Suay Tao
[ ] Physical activities/Hooting
[ ] Dispute Resolution and settlement/Cham Siong
[ ] Lookout/Kuah Chui

posted by inspirethereal @ 1:24 AM